Perritos

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Have you ever had a few beers and then noticed that certain people suddenly look a little more attractive? Well the same phenomenon works when dealing with puppies as well. I’ll explain. The other night I was in Santiago with some Peace Corps friends. We were at a sports bar responsibly enjoying some drinks. I say responsibly because we weren’t going to drive home(Peace Corps prohibits volunteers from driving, but the fact that we have no other choice doesn’t make us any less responsible). At the end of the night, we decided to head back to the motel where we were staying. Our group got split up and I ended up walking back with my friends Shannon and Duncan. We turned up a small street, and that’s when it happened. Three small puppies came out of nowhere and blocked the walkway, forcing us to pick them up and accept their sweet puppy breath kisses. We instantly fell in love with them, and suddenly became aware that there were no people, nor mother dogs around; these puppies were abandoned! Being in the emotionally tipsy state that we were, our conversation went something like this:

Shannon: Awwww look at them, they love you! You guys have to take them home!

Duncan: We do?

Justin: Oh shit, you’re right. These puppies are homeless! We’re their only hope. I’ll take the black one.

Duncan: Alright, let me call Amy (Duncan’s neighboring volunteer friend) and see what she says.

Phone conversation

Duncan: Amy, will you help me take care of this puppy I found?

Amy: Huh?

Duncan: Yeah, we’re gonna help save a street puppy, just say yes.

Amy: Ummm, I guess so…as long as you take care of it most of the t..Click. Hello? Duncan?...

Duncan: she said ok.

Justin: But Shannon, you have to take the third one.

Shannon: But I already have a dog.

Justin: Yeah but we can’t just leave one puppy alone on the street…we’ll have to take all three and find someone to adopt the third one. C’mon, lets go sneak these puppies into the motel.

Duncan: Lets find some street food and more beers.

Once back in our motel room, we introduced the puppies to everyone else, fed them some peanut butter, and shut them in the bathroom for the night. The next morning, we woke up sober as saints and realized what we had done, but the damage was already done; we had to face the music. Amy, the puppies (who smelled absolutely rancid), and I left the motel and headed towards Puerto Plata while Duncan left to take care of some work, immediately taking on the role of the illegitimate father (Duncan never saw the puppies again after that day). We transported the puppies in Amy’s bag, which she was not very happy about. In Puerto Plata, I had to attend a meeting so I left the puppies with Amy, however she had to go grocery shopping so she was becoming quite agitated seeing as the whole puppy thing was never her idea. Later on, I took the three puppies from Amy so she could finish running errands, and after five hours swinging around in a bag, the puppies finally arrived at my house. Upon arrival, I immediately showed the puppies to my host mom (the lady who lives behind me and feeds me lunch). She quickly took note that all three puppies were female and for the first time ever, she appeared to be very upset with me. (I discovered at that time that nobody here likes female dogs because male dogs always follow them around and then they get pregnant and have a ton of babies. My host mom ultimately said that I can’t keep any puppies and I agreed to give them away as soon as possible. Once Duncan heard that I wasn’t keeping my puppy, he declared that he never really wanted one anyway. Duncan and Amy then refused to come pick up their puppy from my house.

The next three days were a living hell. While running around preparing for the graduation of my environmental youth group, I had to deal with puppies running in the street, crapping diarrhea all over my house, and whining 24/7. I individually called up Amy, Duncan, and Shannon to tell them how much I hated them. But then on the 4^th day, a miracle occurred. Amy found a neighbor who had a soft spot for girl puppies and took 2 of the 3. Then my neighbor came over and said she wanted the 3^rd puppy, and at last, I was free.

I apologized to my friends for hating them and told them that we were officially heroes. And for any of you that say alcohol destroys lives, I beg to differ; alcohol saves lives, puppy lives. And while we’re on the topic of people who make judgments, I’m sick of Dominican’s arguing over whether catholics or evangelicals are following the right path to God. How about this, have you ever saved a puppy? I say, if you save a puppy, you get to go to heaven, period. Argument solved. In fact, I’m making this an official religion. Who’s with me??!! Oh wait, let me add another stipulation. You also get to go to heaven if you donate money to a library in a poor community where 1 white guy and a bunch of dark people live. To achieve guaranteed eternal life through the latter option, click on the link below:

https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=517-403

Lesson learned: In the same way that alcohol consumption leads some guys to take home the obese chick from the bar, alcohol can also influence someone to take home a stinky abandoned puppy from the street. In either case, regrets are often made; but let’s not forget, stinky puppies need love too.

Note to reader:

While many of my stories involve alcohol consumption, I really don’t drink that often. It’s just that alcohol makes for good stories. To prove my point, here is a story that doesn’t include any substance abuse whatsoever unless you consider caffeine a drug (ie. Mormons).

One day, I woke up in my house and decided to take a walk to remind the kids about our youth group meeting that day. I stopped at the house of some of my favorite neighbors, Aida and Cundo. They said, “have a seat Yotin.” Aida brought me some coffee and took a seat next to me. She said, “boy, it’s gonna be hot today.” I said, “Sure is”. She said, “I have such a headache, I couldn’t sleep last night.” I asked, “Did you take a pain killer.” She said, “Yes but it’s not working very well”. She asked “How’s your family?” I said, “They are doing well. Anyway, I have to get going. Thanks for the coffee, see you later.” Then I went and talked with a bunch more people about the upcoming stove and library projects, cleaned my house,prepared for my youth group meeting, ate lunch at my host family’s house, had my youth group meeting, applied for a grant to buy community trash cans, made dinner, worked on a new youth group manual about world diversity and equality, and went to bed.

See, now which story is more entertaining? Exactly. Now add a bottle of rum to that last story and then we’ll be seeing some blogworthy material…

Another note to reader: If I have said anything offensive, I would like to declare that I was just kidding.

New Dominican Nicknames:

Goat (Chivo), Chinese (Chino), Almost Handsome (Casi Lindo), Baby (Chíchí), Chíche (no translation), and Chuche (no translation)