Cuentos

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Culture Shock

Since I haven’t yet written about my Dad’s 16 day visit to the DR, here it is. I would love to say that he really adapted to the culture and made his best memories doing such things as waking up to the sound of chickens laying eggs in the morning (bk bk bk bk bk bk bkaaaaaaaah!!!) or taking cold bucket showers or riding with 25 people packed into a minivan; however, I’m quite positive his most enjoyable moments were sitting at the swim up bar at the all inclusive hotel. But all in all, he was a good sport in many respects such as riding with 4 people on a motorcycle, helping me with the land survey, dancing bachata with the local ladies, and accepting a marriage proposal from my Dominican neighbor.

One night, we stayed with my friend Kaitlin and her dog, and my Dad learned the dangers of living in a country without permanent electricity. We went to bed that night with the electricity on. My Dad woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of an animal rumaging through his stuff. He went to check on what it was, but when he got out of bed, he discovered that the animal had either taken or moved his glasses. He went to switch on the light and discovered the electricity had gone out. He suddenly found himself in the midst of a dangerous combination of circumstances: darkness and a terrible vision problem. He decided he needed to go to the bathroom before going back to bed, and clumsily found his way there, tripping on things as he went. On the way back to the bedroom, as he was entering the doorway, my Dad stepped on a fresh dog turd that Kaitlin’s dog had just left in a most convenient of places. My Dad then did what only a desperate blind man in the dark would do. He took his foot and wiped the poo onto the door frame and wall and went back to sleep. Then, just as he finally fell back to sleep, the electricity came back on and lit up the whole room.

When I saw him the next morning, he wasn’t in the cheeriest of moods. Kaitlin wasn’t to happy with the new paint job on the wall either.

Bola Races

Dominican word of the day: bola

A bola is a term for the ride you get whilst hitchhiking. Bolas are very common here and are used by many respectable people, not just gypsies and vagabonds. For this reason, every year, the Peace Corps volunteers organize a bola race.

The rules:

1. Racers must pair up with someone of the opposite sex to make a team of two.
2. Teams must dress up according to a decided theme.
3. Racers must think of a back story to explain their costume and reason for hitchhiking in a foreign country.
4. Racers must not reveal that they are Peace Corps Volunteers.
5. Racers arrive at the starting line the morning of the race, where the end destination is revealed just moments before the race begins.
6. Each team will be supplied with a bottle of randomly selected booze, which must be finished before crossing the finish line. Alcohol cannot be poured out, but can be shared with other people.
7. Racers must arrive at the finish line without paying for any transportation.
8. The 1^st team to cross the finish line together wins.

Problemas

Rainy season
Rainy season is a time when it rains a lot. It’s also a time when everyone stops participating in the activities that I have organized because they fear the consequences of being wet. It’s also a time when unwanted animals enter my house. The other night, I was in a deep sleep when a rat decided to dive bomb onto my mosquito net and land on my face. I immediately went into a squirmy fit and threw myself out of bed, wondering if what just happened was a dream or real life. Just then, reality was confirmed as I watched with a flashlight (because the electricity was out) as another rat dive bombed from the ceiling rafters down to the kitchen countertop. The rat then jumped to the floor and scurried across my foot which caused me to let out a murderous shriek (the next morning an old man who heard me imitated my girlish scream in front of everyone). I spent the next hour searching for the rat(s) in the dark, knocking everything over as I went. I was unsuccessful in finding the bastard so I conceded and went back to bed, making sure to tuck in the mosquito/rat net extra tight. The next day, I went and bought rat poison and left it all around the house. The next day, I found the rat hanging from an electrical wire outside my house, so I’m not sure if he ate the poison or got electrocuted, but either way, it died. A few more days past by and I decided to go camp for a night at the beach to celebrate my birthday with a few other volunteers. We came back to my house the next day, and two of my friends decided to stay the night. That night, when we decided to go to bed, we went to pull out my spare mattress which suddenly unleashed an ungodly odor all through the house. I grabbed the flashlight (of course the electricity was out yet again), and took a look behind the mattress, where I found a dead rat bastard. I instantly vomited a tiny bit in my mouth. While gagging on the smell, I took a closer look at the rat and saw that there were thousands of slimy maggots oozing out of it. We then spent an hour sweeping up maggots, mopping the floor, and figuring out how to improve the situation so that we could atleast sleep for a few hours that night. For the next few days, I cleaned and scrubbed everything in my house in attempt to remove the smell of death from my house, but it turns out that death doesn’t go quietly. Looking back at the series of events, I had two ways in which I could have dealt with the situation. Option 1: have rats walking around at night with the occasional dive bomb attack. Option 2: have a rat die, release a maggot explosion, leave a death stain on your guest mattress, and leave an permanent stench on the entire house. My new philosophy: Bring on the dive bombers!!!

Haircut
I got asked by the guy that gives haircuts in my community to lend him 100 pesos. I agreed based on the condition that he would give me a haircut in return. I now need a haircut. I went to his house, and he wasn’t home. The day after, I went to his house and he wasn’t home again. I called him and he said he would be back in a half hour. I waited two hours and he never showed up. I went back home. The next day I called him and he said he would call me back. He didn’t. The next day, someone told me they saw him giving a haircut down the street. I immediately walked down the road to see if this was true, and it was. I approached the haircut guy and told him I was next in line. He said okay. He finished with the other customer and told me it was my turn. I sat down in the chair, and he said he would be right back to cut my hair. He walked inside his house and I began to hear a lot of yelling. Then the haircut guy came flying out of his house, being chased at full speed by his own mother with a machete in hand. She was screaming such things as “You motherfu%$ing good for nothing son, you stole 2000 pesos from me and I’m going to kill you!!! She chased him around the house for a few more minutes as he screamed “ I didn’t spend the money, I just lost it!!!: Finally, he stopped and said “okay, if you want to kill me, go ahead, however you like!!!” She then proceeded to beat the shit out of her own son with her fists. I continued to sit in my chair, ready for my long awaited haircut. The haircut guy sat down and said to me, “let me calm myself down for a minute”. I said, “that’s fine, I’m going to go talk with someone down the street and I’ll be right back”. Two minutes later as I was walking down the street he passed by me on a motorcycle yelling “I’ll be right back!!!” He never came back. I still haven’t gotten a haircut. The haircut guy is 36 years old, he lives with his mother and owes everybody money.

My project
The water project is at a bit of a standstill because with the required pump system it costs too much money. So I might instead begin to help out a new community that has fewer problematic obstacles in the way; but either way, I will help a community build a water system that will provide them with easily accessible drinking water. And as always, the English class and Brigada Verde environmental youth group is going very well; After taking a few kids to the national conference in the capitol, I now have an abundance of interested youth. I am going to start another youth group that teaches about sexual health and behavior. I will also be starting a project to build improved stoves that eliminate exposure to smokey fumes as well as considerably cut down the amount of wood being burned.